I remember years ago when the song Hosanna came out. It was a super popular song at my church and if you heard it you could understand why. Hosanna, which is a cry that means God save us. or a shout that means God has saved us. Either way it's a powerful word and a powerful song that is shouting the praise and the salvation that God has brought. In the song there is a line that says "Break my heart for what breaks yours". I remember as a 20 year old singing those lyrics with such passion that my voice gave out. I was crying that prayer out to God, but honestly I didn't ever really feel that broken heart. I mean in some since I did. I am passionate about middle school students knowing Jesus. I remember meeting kids in an orphanage and feeling like my heart was broken then. I remember my heart breaking when I heard stories of students. All these times my heart had broken... a little. But I never truly felt the heart break until yesterday. This was a whole different level that I had never experienced before. I was dropping my newest little foster love to kids church on Sunday. She's been with my three days. I found out that through some weird circumstances she has been in four homes before me. I can't even imagine this sweet girl is scared and confused heading to another strangers house. But she seemed okay. Then the drop off happened. As a normal three year old she starting crying when I left. What I didn't expect was the flood of emotion as I walked out of the room. I broke down. I was ugly crying in the middle of our kids area. I kept thinking about how she probably through I was leaving her, abandoning her again. Here she was with more strangers and the weight of all that she has been through came on me. My heart shattered. I was overcome with emotion and I couldn't control it. This was what it felt like for my heart to break. My heart to shatter. In that moment I felt what God felt for this little girl. I felt the weight of the breaking heart. I felt something I had never really felt before. God loves my girls more than I could ever imagine. His heart is broken more for them than mine ever could. He truly broke my heart so He could reveal his love for them. I will do my best to teach them to know Jesus as long as I have them and keep them safe so they know they are loved. Because they are truly so loved.
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