Life as a foster mom

It's been four months since this baby girl arrived at my house. Four months of figuring this whole mom thing out. Four months of living the #singlefostermomlife. If you don't know me, I will tell you a bit of my story. For as long as I can remember I have always wanted to be a mom. Well as I got older and older and it seemed the marriage route wasn't happening in the perfect timeline I had set up in my head, I started to long to be a mom more and more. I remember one day having a conversation with a leader during the winter retreat. He and his wife had adopted two of their three children and he was someone who advocated for adoption. I remember him saying "Megan you're going to be a great mom one day." This was the third time during the retreat someone had said that and this time it stung a little. I said well maybe I'll adopt when I'm older, I was just 25 at the time. When at the moment he looks at me and says something that changed everything. "You know you can adopt as a single woman right? Like you don't even have to have a house, you could foster right now if you wanted to." And with those words a dream was birthed in my heart. In a perfect world I would be married have had a few biological children, then adopted. But life isn't perfect and God usually has other plans for us than our own wants. From that moment I decided I would foster and maybe adopt eventually, and if I was still single when I was ready, then I would do it as a single woman. Through the next few years I met some incredible women, who some were married and fostering and some were single and fostering. Through their stories I was able to persevere through my doubts, worries and fears of it all. Finally, about two years ago the final piece of the puzzle came together. I bought a house. I know you can foster without a home, but I wanted to home for these children, a place with a backyard so they can play. It all came together. I remember that fall speaking on this dream I had for the first time. I remember as I stood up and told Alive, Fuel and Unite that dreams can come true and this was what I was pursing and the dream I had. It all became so real. I was doing it, no backing down. But of course the thoughts crept in that I wasn't good enough and I could never do this. So as I usually do when I doubt myself, I dragged my feet through the whole process. But despite myself, I finished it all and in January I was licensed. A month later she arrived. She was just 10 weeks when they dropped her off to me. No instruction manual, no additional training, nothing. I was on my own. But luckily, I have an awesome tribe of people around me, so one call and my best friend was over in an hour with everything I could need. Those first days were terrifying yet so sweet. We got through the craziest time of the year, Winter Retreat time, with the little one and transitioning into being a mom. I joked later that if I could get through that I could get through anything! I even took her on the retreat! Yes, I must have been sleep deprived!! But we made it through, all the obstacles we made it through together. Sometimes I can't remember what life was like before her. She's just always with me. I know time with her is going to come to an end in the next few months. Reunification is happening, but I am so thankful for this little one who made me a mama. Life is crazy, most of the time my dishes are dirty and my house is a mess, but it's so full. So that's how it's been for me so far. If you want to know more details feel free to comment below!